Chovy's Blog

I got this weird email the other day, from a web developer who would like advice on how to “exploit” himself…

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Sir/Madam

I am working in XML, XSLT for three years with an MNC publishing company.

I want to exploit myself as an XML developer. But there is nothing to exploit more. So please guide me what will be the my next step.

Eagerly waiting for your reply.

Bye

Yours
Bijay
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So I decided to write up a guide on how to exploit yourself.

Step 1: Ask for the lowest possible salary anybody would consider you for. Do not expect much here, companies can get away with paying you dirt. Infact it’s even better if you qualify for food stamps while working for them.

Step 2: Do not ask for benefits. They are a hinderance to the bottom line, and the fact that you ask for none makes you all that much more attractable to the hiring company.

Step 3: Tell them you are anti-union. Unions only cause rabble-rousing and should be avoided at all costs.

Step 4: Offer your children up as workers the company can also hire for pennies on the dollar.

Step 5: Tell them you will work part-time, so legally they don’t have to provide you anything other than a low hourly rate.

Step 6: Work weekends, and 12 hour days. Tell them you’ll do it for half price or even free if the law allows it.